Procrastination

{Written November 20th, 2008}
Procrastination

I'm just sitting here,
watching, waiting, letting my mind lurk
into places that spark ones fear.

I don't want to finish my papers,
I haven't really even started.
there is no fruit to those labors.

so here i sit,
letting the world go by
waiting for that dark shadow to lift.

I really don't want to go to my class,
listening to her, and to have ears bleed
I would much rather sit here on my ass.

~Ab-senpai

Weak and Small

{written on November 12th 2008}

Weak and Small

Heaven help us now

cry the weak and the small

how can you leave us be?

Are we not ment to live?

Are we not ment to breathe?

how can you stare at us,watch us suffer?

Can't you hear our screams?

work your power,save us now!

we go weary of our helplessness

our hopelessness

as this life leads us down

to hell...

Mini Poetic Rant

{written on November 12th 2008}
Mini Poetic Rant

I'm slowly fading from veiw,
i see, that i can no longer hold one to what i had always held dear.
I'm far too comsumed by fear.

Of what's to come,
what's unspoken.
how do i stop these thoughts ravenging at my very soul?

i wish i understood why i am so cold...

~Ab-senpai {mini poetic rant}

Change You

{Written on Nov 11th, 2008}

Change You

ever think that life is so insane
not plain
insane

Ever want to grow wings and soar
don't be a bore
soar

Do you want change?
it's not deranged
change

Here's what to do, be you
who?
YOU!


~Ab-Senpai

Make You Proud?

{Posted on Nov 6th, 2008

written a year before}

[Make You Proud?]

When trust is earned,

Trust is kept.

Lessons that need be learned,

Mocked me as I wept.

How long must I bend and break,

Just to make you proud.

How must I toil for the sake,

You hate me when I’m loud.

Anything I say or do,

Comes out wrong in the end.

All that I give you,

Far away you send.

When will you respect me as I am?

And take no offense to what I say?

Or will you keep me forever damned,

And never give me the time of day?

~ARS~

If Only You Knew

{Posted on Nov 6th, 2008}

If Only You Knew

If only you knew,

how much I care for you.

How when you have pain,

my heart breaks in two.

‘Cause when you have pain,

I do too.

If only you knew,

how much you make me cry.

How when you’re angry,

I feel I might die.

‘Cause when you’re angry,

to make you happy, I try.

If only you knew,

how much I think of you.

How all you’re jokes make me laugh,

and it kills me, that the time we spend is all too few.

‘Cause you make me laugh,

something people really hardly do.

If only you knew,

how I love to hear you talk.

How your voice brings out a smile,

listening to all the voices you mock.

‘Cause, your voice brings out my smile,

no wonder I always gawk.

If only you knew,

how I feel inside.

How from the very start, you I tried to avoid,

for I knew I would become too attached.

‘Cause from the start, you I tried to avoid,

but now to you I’m latched.

If only you knew,

how much pain you cause.

How you and I could never be,

you and I together, a relationship with too many flaws.

“Cause you and I could never be,

everything we are is against the laws.

If only you knew,

that everything you do has a price.

That everything you offer me, can just as quickly be taken,

and this has put me in a vice.

“Cause everything you offer me, is just as quickly taken,

and leaves me at the feet of Christ.

If Only You Knew . . .

{Finished 11/21/07}

I've Been Waiting...

{Written on Nov 4th, 2008}

I've Been Waiting

I've been waiting,
for what i do not know.
I"ve been waiting,
sitting here,
looking out unto the clouds
waiting for what life wants to show.

I'm hoping the sun comes up,
brightens up the sky.
I hope the sun comes up
Kisses the clouds,
makes them blush
While I'm waiting here up high.

I am waiting with the wind in my ears
whipsering secrets breathed as of late.
I am waiting with the wind in my ears
it's breeze nipping at my skin
dust swirling to and fro
mesmerizing me, while i wait.